When a romantic relationship goes sour, it’s easy to blame your ex. He didn’t care enough, was too self-centered. He was lazy, didn’t show enough affection, was just too wrong for me.
But after the third or fourth time a serious relationship loses the love, you have to sit back and wonder if it’s more than just something wrong with your ex. Maybe the real problem is you. (Yeah, you, sitting around waiting around to find Mr. Right.)
Even if you don’t think that’s a possibility, it’s worth considering in order to really figure out why your past relationships failed.
If you want help solving your sour love life mystery, Nancy Nichols — author, motivational speaker and dating coach — has some expert clues that’ll transform your love life into a fairytale.
Here are two crucial things she says will give your sour love life a 180-degree turnaround:
1. Don’t Be So Close-Minded And Judgmental
We all have a list of The Top 10 Things We Look For In A Man, but this is only going to set you back and prevent you from finding the perfect lover. That man you are searching for is the ideal man, which means he probably doesn’t exist outside your dreams and fantasies.
Be open to meeting new and exciting men that don’t necessarily meet all your standards. While there are a few necessary standards (like sharing life and relationship goals and beliefs), others (like physical appearance) should be open to change.
2. Change Your Perspective
Your terrible past experiences are exactly that — in your past. Keep them there! Not every man is the same, and love doesn’t always fail.
As Nichols wisely explains, “If you can change that mindset that was created by the negative influences of your past, then you can create a new life.”