It could be upsetting if you’re in a relationship and your partner is sending you mixed signals about how they feel for you. Not to be sure if he or she is just being irritable, or they are seeking an indirect way to show you that they want to end your relationship. The good news is that nine times out of ten, the breakup is an idea in your head only. Or your partner is going through an extremely stressful period, or possibly the two together.
But in case you have the feeling that things between you and your partner are permanently going in the wrong direction, it’s time to give your relationship some serious attention.
No matter how unpleasant this could sound a relationship might not always be on the right track or go as planned.
That can cause disagreements, disappointment, and emotional distance. Finally one of the partners could start withdrawing from the relationship while the other one is none the wiser. Consequently, a sudden split up might occur.
No matter whether or not your partner shows any symptoms of disapproval or disappointment, it could be useful to read these 6 not so obvious signs that your significant other could be thinking about parting ways with you.
1. They avoid spending much time with you
If your loved one stops seeing you as often as possible, this might be a red flag. Here is what relationship coach Cindi Sansone-Braff, author of Why Good People Can’t Leave Bad Relationships, thinks about this:
“If you keep hearing how he or she is too busy with work, family, friends and other obligations to spend time with you,” that sucks, and if they’re adding, ‘we’ll get together soon,’ they’re just giving you lip service, she says. “Just tell this person that this isn’t what you signed on for,”
She also explains how we should react after we’ve revealed our partner’s true feelings:
“Let them know that you’ll be moving on, and if you should still be available when their life lightens up, then you might give this thing another try,” she says. But whatever you do, don’t just sit there. “Keep in mind, that when someone is really into you, they put you on the top of the list, and make time for you,” Sansone-Braff says. “Nothing stands in the way: They’d walk five miles through a snowstorm to see you because that’s how much they miss you.”
2. Your future together is not a priority
According to the relationship expert and love coach Susan Winter, when the partner becomes ignorant of your future together they might start behaving like this:
“You’ll notice your partner no longer wants to talk about that trip you intended to take. Plans for the holidays, theatre tickets, and special events are left unresolved and unanswered.”
Winter thinks that the best way to handle your partner’s reactions is to initiate a conversation about it. However, you should do it delicately.
The relationship expert and author of First Comes Us: The Busy Couple’s Guide to Lasting Love, Anita A. Chlipala also shares this opinion:
“How a conversation starts is how it will inevitably end, so the softer you can be the more successful the conversation will be,” warns Chlipala. “Tell your partner the changes that you see, and then ask them if something is going on that you don’t know about.”
3. Your partner becomes unavailable to you
Below is the brilliant explanation of Nikki Martinez a BetterHelp telehealth counselor and psychologist:
“If the person answers calls and texts less frequently, be less and less available until things just naturally drizzle out. It’s not always a good way to go, but it’s an OK method if the person might be explosive with directness. If this is going on, call a spade a spade,” she says.
So what matters if you have this problem in the relationship is to admit it. Martinez also adds that:
“If you suddenly realize that you are on the receiving end of this behavior, you might want to start to be honest with yourself that this relationship is on the way out. So if this is the case in your relationship, it’s not a bad idea to have a conversation with your partner and ask them directly about their opinion and true feelings regarding the relationship.”
4. They get frustrated by small things
Quarreling a lot and mainly for insignificant matters might reveal that something’s wrong between the partners. People who are genuinely in love seldom pay attention to small details. However, even in the case, you’re not getting into violent fights when you notice that your partner’s attitude toward you has become different, you’d better be careful about it.
“Some people don’t want to be the one to end the relationship, so they’ll make it so unbearable for their partner that they have no choice but to do the breaking up,” says Anita Chlipala. “They might even be more critical of you or blame you for things,” states Chlipala.
5. Defensive behavior
Danielle Sepulveres, sex educator and author of Losing It: The Semi-Scandalous Story of an Ex-Virgin, was asked about her explanation of such behavior in a relationship:
“When partners stop communicating and get defensive you should point it out,” The defensiveness here is key — though plenty of people can be less communicative for a whole host of reasons, if someone is still into the relationship, they’ll want to change their behavior when such a thing is pointed out.
She also advises people whose partner has changed their behavior to pay attention to whether their significant other is available for a conversation:
“If someone truly didn’t realize that they’re behavior has changed, they would be willing to discuss your concerns without immediately refuting you,” Sepulveres says. “Abstaining from having a conversation or dismissing your feelings is not a good sign when you want to address a shift you’ve sensed in the relationship.”
6. Your partner seems distant
Even though you are lying in the same bed with your loved one, you file like if they are a million miles away from you. Here is how dating expert Noah Van Hochman explains such situations:
“The most telling clue that the person you are with is on the verge of ending your relationship is distance. Not proximity distance, but the emotional kind.”
He also describes what is the way to be sure this is the case in your relationship:
“Phone calls get less frequent and shorter. The types of conversations you engage in are less meaningful and seem like an obligation to talk more than an authentic desire. Plans to do things together become more like ‘maybes’ than those things you used to get excited about. Then, before you know it, you don’t even understand what is going on with your partner.”
So, if you notice that your loved one does not express the same emotional closeness as before, you need to do something about it. Because according to Van Hochman:
“Distance breeds distance, and eventually communication becomes non-existent.”
The best way to handle all of these problems is to talk to your significant other. Make sure that they believe things between you and them are really OK.